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Female Promiscuity: Annotated Transcript of Bettina Arndt's video about Stefan Molyneux and Lauren Southern

Peter Zohrab 2018

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This is an annotated transcript of Bettina Arndt's video at:


Bettina Arndt is an Australian and Lauren Southern and Stefan Molyneux are Canadians. All three of them are famous for having non-Feminist views and Lauren Southern and Stefan Molyneux are also famous for having Right-wing views on other issues, as well.

In this video, Bettina relies on her experience as a Clinical Psychologost and Sex Therapist to defend a conventional, Western, Leftist position on female sexuality against Lauren Southern's and Stefan Molyneux's (probably Christian-based) Conservative position. Here are the main issues that she discusses:


The first two issues are almost the same. However, Arndt doesn't seem to address the issue of sexually transmitted diseases, so I conclude that she admits the obvious, which is that there probably is a direct correlation between the number of sexual partners and the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases, though I would like to see some research on this before I made up my mind.

The issues of the presence or absence of stable marriages, failed marriage and single-motherhood are almost the same thing, in that stable marriages are presumably the opposite of failed marriages and single-motherhood is a common result of failed marriages. So the issue is whether there is a direct correlation between these phenomena and the number of sexual partners that a woman has had.

Arndt admits that there is a direct correlation, but her criticism is that a correlation does not prove a causal link (see paragraphs 7 & 8).

So far, so good. But Arndt does not succeed in proving that something else causes unstable marriages, failed marriages and single-motherhood, either. She uses the argument (apparently borrowed from some other website) that it would be absurd to conclude that there is any causal link between spreading your toast with margarine and divorce, despite the fact that the divorce rate in Maine is correlated with margarine consumption, or to conclude that there is any causal link between cheese consumption and people dying from tangled bedsheets, despite the fact that there is a correlation between cheese consumption and deaths from tangled bed-sheets.

The point is that the main difference between the Social Sciences and the Natural Sciences is that it is unethical to conduct most sorts of experiments on people, which means that the Social Sciences have to rely on correlations, which do not actually prove causation between all the variables that are correlated. In the case of margarine and divorce and in the case of cheese and bedsheets, Arndt expects us to laugh and think, "How absurd!" But there must be some kind of link between margarine and divorce and between cheese and bedsheets -- it's just that we don't know what it is. Maybe it's something to do with dietary fat, obesity, depression and/or eating disorders -- who knows?

The same applies to the correlations which Stefan Molyneux mentions in paragraph five. There must be some kind of link and Arndt mentions some possibilities. However, she does not prove that those other factors are the real causes of unstable marriages, failed marriages and single-motherhood. The factors which Arndt mentions are:

Lower socio-economic backgrounds and poverty are much the same thing and such families are likely to be less educated than average. I don't know what Arndt means by "unstable homes", but single mums and fatherlessness are the same thing. I don't know what parents being unmarried has got to do with anything, since that is so common nowadays in Western countries, but poorer supervision would seem to be a natural result of the single mums/fatherlessness syndrome. The single mums/fatherlessness syndrome results in lower socio-economic backgrounds/poverty, because only one income is coming into the household and that income is often just a welfare benefit, because it is hard for a parent to hold down a full-time job and look after children at the same time by themselves. So most of those eight factors are either identical or causally linked.

So the question is, do those factors cause (in females) both a high number of sexual partners and failed marriage/single-motherhood, or is it the high number of sexual partners which causes failed marriage/single-motherhood? I don't think that either Southern and Molyneux or Arndt has proved their case beyond doubt.

However, in paragraph 5, Molyneux says, "This is very important when it comes to choosing your partners in the future. This is the data you need to know to make an informed decision." Who is he addressing -- males or females? If he is taken to be addressing males, and enough males believe him, then males will increasingly start rejecting females as mates, if they appear to have had lots of sexual partners. Likewise, if females think that males will believe Molyneux, they may start having fewer sexual partners, out of fear of being placed on an eventual scrap-heap. Then, if females start having fewer sexual partners, they may start to work harder at maintaining their relationships, when any of them thinks that they may have met "Mr. Right," because they have made a sacrifice in order to achieve this goal and want to make it worth the sacrifice. In that case, Southern and Molyneux would have made a self-fulfilling prediction, in the form of a non-predictive causal statement!

In paragraph 11, Arndt mentions conservatism or religiosity, which she thinks may cause both celibacy before marriage and successful marriages. She also mentions what she considers to be the opposite of that, which is Feminism, which may cause women to want to have a lot of sexual partners before marriage and also to be less likely to stay in an unhappy marriage. That is a woman's point of view. A man's point of view might be that it is men who may not want to stay long in a marriage to a Feminist! Either way, the result would be the same.

In Paragraph 12, Arndt says that "our society’s decided to delay the age of first marriage...it’s been largely driven by women who were told by everybody that it was best to get educated and established in their careers before settling down." She doesn't put the blame where it's deserved: on Feminists. It's not "everyone" who's been saying that women should delay marriage -- it's the Feminists!! The result is that there are "plenty of women struggling to find mates in their early thirties, during those critical years for their declining fertility. And that’s been a disaster for many women and there’s a good argument that women who want kids should try to find partners far earlier" as she puts it.

Another problem that Arndt mentions is that "most men find younger women really attractive and it’s natural many would like to have one of them on their arm – but they don’t get them, do they? Unless an older man has serious pulling-power through having acquired major assets or power or money or status, he’s going to end up only being able to attract women roughly in his own age-group. ." She is not very sympathetic towards this problem, but maybe it is one explanation for the existence of polygamy in some countries at some times.

One big issue is why women sleep around before marriage. I have already mentioned the influence of Feminism. Arndt thinks that the main reason is that women want relationships, and she blames men for forcing women to sleep with them if they want a relationship. She does not cite any statistics on this issue and I am a bit sceptical about relying on what women say in therapy (as Arndt does), since women are notorious for wanting to present themselves in a good light. Arndt refers to the fact that many men prefer virgins over sexually experienced women, but she puts it down to men feeling threatened. However, it may just be that men prefer to be the only man in a woman's sex-life -- i.e. they prefer unsullied goods, which may be why under-age sex has become such a frequent news item. Unless a girl is young, she is unlikely to be a virgin, these days.

Finally, Arndt refers to research which shows that men don't get as much sex in marriage as they want. That may be another argument for polygamy, although that results in more men who have no wives at all!

As far as this general issue is concerned, I don't think that anyone has proved their case. However, it depends what issues you take into account and whose point of view you take into account: men's point of view, women's point of view, children's point of view, unborn children's point of view, or Society's point of view. I think that, from children's point of view, unborn children's point of view, and Society's point of view, teh current Feminist set-up stinks and the set-up proposed by Lauren Southern and Stefan Molyneux is preferable by far.

  1. BETTINA ARNDT: Lauren Southern and Stefan Molyneux have just left Australia after causing a big stir. Bureaucrats tried to stop Lauren from getting a visa to enter the country and there were big demonstrations and one State Government tried to bully the organisers of the tour with a $68,000.00 bill for police protection. Both of these Youtube heroes have done a lot of good work. I’ve been following Lauren for many years ever since she was a student. She was in some ghastly Gender Studies course and making videos about some of the ideological rubbish she was being taught. And Stefan is a very smart bloke. He makes thoughtful videos about all manner of important topics.

  2. But I am fascinated by their take on promiscuity and women’s early sexual activity. This is one area where I think both of them go off the rails. But I should say something about where I’m coming from here. My background is actually Clinical Psychology and I started out as one of Australia’s first Sex Therapists back in the 1970s, when there was a total double standard, with all the single males getting all this kudos for seducing women, while females were always at risk of losing their reputations and I’ve spent my whole career promoting respectful, equal relations between men and women, although in recent years, of course, I’m concentrating on the demonisation of men and trying to stop that. So, with this sort of background, I hope you’ll see why it is that it rankles, when Lauren Southern is calling out promiscuous women, warning they’re going to ruin their chances of stable marriages by bed-hopping from an early age.

  3. LAUREN SOUTHERN: Promiscuity has devastating effects on women’s ability to pair-bond and form lasting, stable relationships that she needs for her happiness. This isn’t a fact that I like. It’s not a fact that I want to be true. I want people to be happy and free to make all the choices and decisions they want, without consequences, but the reality is there are lasting consequences and I can’t change that and women need to understand the consequences of their choices and make informed decisions based on that. And luckily that is already happening. Women are starting to understand that maybe all this sexual liberation wasn’t the brightest idea and that, in the long run, a rich family life, surrounded by love and children, is preferable to being a cat-lady.

  4. BETTINA ARNDT: This is crazy stuff. Of course, too much casual sex can take a toll on men and on women. In all the decades I’ve been talking to people about their sex lives, I’ve come across many who end up having sexual relationships that aren’t good for them, and of course it’s a particular problem for women, who often find it much harder to cope with sex without any emotional involvement. It’s hugely disappointing for women who hope that sex is going to be the start of something wonderful and then discover that’s all he wanted. But Lauren has based her video on some really dubious research, which claims to show this direct correlation between the number of sexual partners and all sorts of really disastrous consequences, like failed marriage or single-motherhood, sexually transmitted diseases – endless doom and loom. She’s singing from the same songbook as Stefan Molyneux and made a famous video called “The Truth about Sex.” And that’s been seen by over ¾ of a million people. Youtubers are always recommending it to me and I find it really shocking that so many people have seen it and seem to think it makes sense, because it’s simplistic, misleading nonsense. Here’s Stefan in his video about “The Truth about Sex.”

  5. STEFAN MOLYNEUX: So, contrasted with women who began sexual activity in their early twenties, girls who initiated sex at age 13 or 14 were less than half as likely to be in stable marriages once reaching their thirties. If it’s 12 or younger, you have less than a 19% chance of being in a stable marriage. If you started in your twenties, 66-68% likelihood of being in a stable marriage! This is very important when it comes to choosing your partners in the future. This is the data you need to know to make an informed decision.

  6. (A SLIDE HAS ON IT: The Harmful Effects of Early Sexual Activity and Multiple Sexual Partners among Women: A Book of Charts. Robert E. Rector, Kirk A. Johnson, PhD, Lauren R. Noyes, Shannan Martin).

  7. BETTINA ARNDT: Stefan is using data from a Heritage Foundation report which is advocacy research at its worst. As he should realise, it is not an informed decision to assume that the reason women have unstable marriages is because they had sex really early. He’s confusing correlation with causation and that’s something that’s taught in Statistics 101. A smart guy like Stefan should know the difference. I mean, he’s the one who’s always telling us to look at the evidence. There’s a great website about this sort of spurious correlations which explains which explains this beautifully.

  8. (TWO SLIDES SHOWS GRAPHS) So the divorce rate in Maine is correlated with margarine consumption. But do you really think that spreading your toast with margarine is leading to divorce? And what about the correlation between cheese consumption and tangled bed-sheets? It’s all madness, of course! Think about the women you know who started sex really early. I mean, proper research tells us a lot about this group. We have decades of research showing they’re more likely to be from lower socio-economic backgrounds, they’re more likely to be poorer, less-educated families who also tend to have higher divorce-rates or family break-up rates and many of them don’t marry. They just have kids in de facto relationships. So this kind of background is what is called a confounding variable. It may be those unstable homes which mean they grow up with single mums and poorer supervision, which lead to both the early sex and their own unstable marriages. There’s also been decades of research showing that fatherlessness is linked to early sexual activity in girls, teenage pregnancy, abortion and future unstable marriages. It’s just one more possible confounding variable amongst many. So the link between early sex and unstable marriage is a spurious correlation, like those tangled sheets and cheese consumption.

  9. Now here’s Stefan at it again, but this time claiming lots of sexual partners lead to unstable marriages.

  10. STEFAN MOLYNEUX: So, look at odds. If you only have had sex with the man that you get married to, then you have a greater than 80% chance, when you’re over 30, of being in a stable marriage, or retaining a stable marriage. If you had one sexual partner outside of your husband, or future husband, then this drops from 80.5% to 53.6% chance of retaining a stable marriage and, as you can see, this goes down and down and down. It’s mostly dose-dependent, but not entirely. If you’ve had 16 to 20 non-marital sexual partners, your odds of remaining in a stable marriage are only 17.8%, compare that with over 80% for zero!

  11. BETTINA ARNDT: Think about that one! Who, these days, is a virgin when they marry? Chances are very high they come from conservative, religious backgrounds – precisely the type of background which also helps people remain committed in their own marriages. So one of the confounding variables is conservatism or religiosity. At the other end of the spectrum, the young Feminist who thinks it’s only fair for her to behave like many men and enjoy lots of sexual relationships is also precisely the sort of woman who’s also less likely to stay in an unhappy marriage. It’s her Feminist attitudes that are more likely to be the causal link to the break-up of her marriage – not the fact sh has lots of sex beforehand.

  12. So these issues are really complex and Lauren and Stefan aren’t doing anyone any favours by pretending it’s all so simple and putting the blame on women’s promiscuity for all sorts of social ills. We also need to think about what’s happening for women, now that our society’s decided to delay the age of first marriage. For the last 40 years it’s shifted from the early twenties to the late twenties. I actually think that’s been a real mistake, but it’s been largely driven by women who were told by everybody that it was best to get educated and established in their careers before settling down. That’s led to plenty of women struggling to find mates in their early thirties, during those critical years for their declining fertility. And that’s been a disaster for many women and there’s a good argument that women who want kids should try to find partners far earlier. But Lauren seems to have bought into this nonsense that by 30 it’s all over for women. Our sexual value drops through the floor, she says.

  13. LAUREN SOUTHERN: We’re extremely valuable and beautiful to a lot of people. Now, if I just finished the sentence there, that would be a truth than not a lot of people would be afraid to tell you. In fact, you’ve probably heard it time and time again. But what people ARE afraid to do is to finish that sentence. You’re extremely valuable, but that value diminishes over time. And I don’t mean the value of your soul or the kind deeds that you do, which can potentially be beautiful for ever. But I mean your sexual market value and your desirability as a potential partner and wife. And you can go ahead and blow that off as something that you don’t care about. You don’t care about sexual market value or what men think of you, but the reality that it is one of the most important assets of our lives as females.

  14. BETTINA ARNDT: I’ve got news for you, Lauren! Sure, most men find younger women really attractive and it’s natural many would like to have one of them on their arm – but they don’t get them, do they? Unless an older man has serious pulling-power through having acquired major assets or power or money or status, he’s going to end up only being able to attract women roughly in his own age-group. Most of us don’t end up stranded without a partner, even though our market value has declined since we were cute young things. There are plenty of people in all age-groups pairing up, and usually with partners their own age. According to the 2013 US Census stats, 66% of women in all age-groups are in marriages with men somewhere between one and five years older than themselves. So dream on, all you judgemental guys! You could decide to write off all women over thirty, but chances are the gorgeous young things won’t end up with you,

  15. Now, think what happens to the numbers of sexual partners when we delay marriage for a decade. If you start your sexual relationships in your early twenties, the numbers are going to stack up, aren’t they?

  16. What makes me really mad is Lauren and Stefan seem to assume that a woman’s sexual history is driven only by her own desires. All those sex-crazed nymphomaniacs madly hopping into bed with men because they can’t get enough sex. That’s so much rubbish! And of course there are young women who are really into sex and have no problem with having lots of hook-ups, like plenty of young men, but my long experience is that with women these are a minority.

  17. Most women are looking for something more. For a start, most women know that they’ll get very little sexual pleasure from going to bed with a stranger. Look, there’s research showing that women are less likely to reach orgasm in a new relationship. It takes time for most women to feel relaxed enough to enjoy sex with someone new, which is one reason why very few women choose to sleep around. There’s no doubt an awful lot of women have more sex than they want and that’s because they’re looking for a boyfriend, or they’re trying to find a relationship and the only way they can do that is by going to bed with a man. Sadly, that often won’t work out and she’s left with another notch on her bed, but not necessarily the one she wanted.

  18. Think about that, guys, all you out there, sneering at the women who get caught on the cot-carousel. How about thinking about who’s doing the pushing here? Many women end up with more sexual partners than they want because they’re looking for a boyfriend, they fear they’ll lose the guy if they don’t give in when he’s hassling her for sex. I imagine there are very few women out there who haven’t had the experience of a male who makes it very clear that, if you don’t come across, he’ll move on. I spent years doing online dating coaching, endlessly talking to women who felt under pressure to have sex with new dates long before they were ready.

  19. Sure it’s true we need to help women resist that type of pressure, but it’s coming from guys and it’s not as if the women like it when the numbers start to stack up. If you read the women’s magazines, you’ll find endless articles about whether women should even tell men about the number of partners they’ve had. Women know that many men are threatened by a woman who’s had a lot of sexual experience and they’re right to be nervous. This rubbish from Lauren and Stefan and others like them simply makes it all worse.

  20. LAUREN SOUTHERN: A man’s worth is measured in accomplishments, strength and resources and men are born ignorant, weak and destitute. A woman’s worth is measured in youth, fertility and chastity and women are born young, fertile and chaste. A man can accumulate wealth and power over time, but a woman cannot become younger or more chaste.

  21. BETTINA ARNDT: So what are these people actually suggesting? That women remain virgins until they get married? That may have been good advice when everyone got married when they were young, in their early twenties, but women staying chaste for another decade, until they’re thirty? That’s just not going to happen! And luckily there are a lot of sensible males up (sic) there who just wouldn’t want it that way – males who don’t believe the line these guys are pushing. Many males are happy to be with women who’ve had their fair share of sexual experience and believe that makes them more mature, accepting partners than naïve virgins. It’s a wonderful thing that we live in a time when sexuality is a part of learning to establish strong, loving relationships. Of course there are risks that come with sexual liberation, but that just means we need to learn to look after ourselves and treat our partners with respect and kindness, rather than labelling and judging people.

  22. Stefan obviously doesn’t have a clue what’s happening in marriages today.

  23. STEFAN MOLYNEUX: Now, sexual restraint, to be realistic and fair and avoid the stigma of “You’re just a square, you’re a prude, man, you just want us to not have any sex,” but the reality is that people who are in stable, long-term marriages report the happiest and best sex lives of everyone, so, when people are saying, “Well, you know, it might be a good idea not to cast your sperm and eggs around like you’re playing lacrosse, it might be better to wait and focus on one person you’re going to have sex with for the rest of your life,” nobody is saying. “And therefore don’t have sex.” What they’re saying is, “That’s going to give you the best sex. That’s going to give you the most sex, the most satisfying sex and that is the reality of what the data tell us. So it’s not anti-sexual, it’s not anti-pleasure. It’s not anti-hedonism-of-the-marital-bedroom. What it is is it’s saying, “Well, look, if you wait, it’s going to be better. I mean, you won’t have … you’ll have much less chance of getting a disease, you’ll have much less chance of having an abortion, you’ll have much less chance of having a divorce and all of that will contribute to a happy tsunami of sexual pleasure for your whole life.

  24. BETTINA ARNDT: Oh, sure, Stefan! “A tsunami of sexual pleasure?” Tell that to the millions of married men who aren’t getting any sexual pleasure at all, because Feminists have taught their wives that, if they don’t feel like it, there’s no reason to have sex. Married people, on average, have more and better sex than single people is simply because most single people are out there, trying to meet prospective mates, rather than madly leaping into bed with them. There’s a huge problem in marriage today, with a growing desire-gap between men and women and far too many sex-starved men desperate for a tiny wave, let alone a tsunami, of sex. Look at these graphs, showing a drop in sexual desire in newly-wed women and the growing gap between men and women as they age. Both of these are from US research which should be published soon. It may be true that more conservative women are more likely to be sexually generous, and believe in taking care of their husbands’ needs. I made a video a while back with Karen Straughan, talking about how Feminism has screwed sex for men by teaching women that, if they don’t feel like sex, they should just reject their partners. But there are very experienced women out there who also believe in looking after their men, just as there are sexually naïve women who end up buying the Feminist message.

  25. Stefan and Lauren are smart, courageous people preaching some very good messages about what’s going wrong in our society, but slut-shaming isn’t one of them.





Peter Douglas Zohrab

Latest Update

9 August 2018